I told you I was a commitment-phobe. Who ask you come along for the ride?
So there are a couple things I want to say. Perhaps I should have journaled while in Italy, it has been incredible and learning and oh-so-much-fun but I will forget it next year, all the small parts. Wonder if God has a pensieve like thing so that we can relive our best moments (though I suppose the point is that heaven will be so good I won’t care).
Number One
There are a few key phrases, as I like to call them, in my life right now. Really, they just codify the important things I learnt in order to make choices, feel about things and understand my world. So right here, is sort of an operational definition of uh, my life.
Equilibrium: The stage is your life that you reach, that is neither better nor worse, but is you. It’s good in the ways you are meant to be, bad in the ways you are meant to be too. You are happy or at least at peace at equilibrium and you are meant to be at equilibrium for most of your life. Some people may call it maturity but I don’t like the hierarchical sound of that. Currently, I think I believe that you cannot really fall in love with the One (oh ominous!) if you are not at equilibrium, because you are not really who you will be mostly for the rest of your life. It’s not quite fair to get someone stuck to you, only to change later, is it.
Expectation Management: Many things in life fail you and make you sad. Your hopes get crushed especially if you are hope inclined (like someone I know). So many think this sounds like cynicism, I really don’t think it is. You are just training yourself to go with the flow, to take life as it happens, not force it to yield to you. This applies to many things. People, nights out, food (need to apply this harder. sigh), yourself, job hunting, romantic happenings etc.
Action Reaction: Great tool to understanding yourself and others, to not judge and not feel guilty, but to look forward and not dwell on the past. Everyone is someway because of something. Someone else hurt them and so they get messed up. We all see that in our own lives, so let’s give everyone a break, including ourselves. Doesn’t mean we get all sloppy and rationalize away all flaws. No, it just means understanding the origins of our behavior and if anything, to correct them properly. Even if you cannot understand why someone is so-like-that-one, at least give them the benefit of the doubt that something happened somewhere to them. This way, you also do not spend excess time and energy being angry/resentful towards someone.
Number Two
I finished reading Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul by my love, Douglas Adams. So i realized, I come away from most of his books not understanding something. Which means I need to do more reading and comprehension exercises. You know the ones where you copy the answer straight out from the text because your tuition teacher taught you that way. Anyways, it makes me sad about my capabilities, but its nice. It means I’m not just reading chicken shit all the time. I’m also sad because I don’t think I’ve much to read of his anymore. And he is dead. I could go back and read HH2G since I always forget half the convoluted plot by the time I finish a book, but every time I read a book I always get that deja vu sense and its really not that enjoyable. DG’s works have that sense of surprise and shock which is taken best once. So that is all upsetting. And I cannot do anything about it. Except complete his extremely difficult text-based adventure game! :D
Number Three
I haven’t watched sci-fi in a while :(
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
